Here’s the third installment in our look at Manners for Moderns, a 1938 etiquette guide for young men.
III
PARTY LINES
A man of breeding does not suppose himself to be either the sole or principal object of the thoughts, looks, or words of the company, and never suspects that he is either slighted or laughed at unless he is conscious that he deserves it; and if the company should absurd or ill-bred enough to do either, he does not care two pence unless the insult be gross or plain. As he is above trifles, he is never vehement and eager about them, and, whenever they are concerned, rather acquiesces than wrangles. |
— LORD CHESTERFIELD |
Being a Guest in Palace or Cottage |
Let us suppose that you have been invited to a party by Mr. and Mrs. P. Bushwhacker Ontop. The Ontops have a vast house with a complete staff of servants and could entertain all Mrs. Goldore’s plush pets with the greatest of ease. You go there expecting wine, women, and song and an evening revelry.
The next evening Cinderella Littlerocks asks you over for dinner with her family. She has five little brothers who are holy terrors, an uncle who reminds you of Gracie Allen’s radio uncle, a father who eats in his shirt sleeves; and after dinner you will help Cinderella and her mother do the dishes.
Is there going to be any difference in your manners at the Ontop place and at the four-room Littlerocks’ bungalow? Not if you know your etiquette! Nope! If you’re wise on what to do, you’ll know that your attitude, as a guest, should be exactly the same in the two houses.
There Are Certain Things a Guest Owes His Host. |
After accepting an invitation, you are the guest of the person giving it, and have placed yourself under certain obligations to that person. Perhaps you have already thought of a host as a person who is supposed to see that his guest has a good time. But have you ever thought that the duty of the guest is to make his host believe he (the guest) is having a good time every minute he is being entertained? For this is the first duty, or obligation, of a guest; To act as though he enjoys himself every minute he is another’s house.
There isn’t any terribly difficult hocus-pocus about carrying out this idea. In fact, it’s so easy we wonder why more people don’t make it a rule for everyday behavior. It’s a sure-fire popularity getter and it’s guaranteed to make every host or hostess remember you with the kindest of thoughts.
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